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♪ ♪ [ "dallas" theme music ] ♪ ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> from austin, texas.

a city so liberal a guitar can marry a cowboy boot. it's "the daily show" coverage. goes to the one part of texas where we won't get shot at. ♪ [ applause ]:p >> jon: thank you! thank you so much! welcome to the show! thank you so much. wow, what an honor to be here! in austin, texas!

only open carry ebola state in the union. we are thrilled to be here in austin. we have a nice week planned. the mid-term elections, wendy davis is here. [ cheering and applause ] really the big story in the country continues its perverse obsession with a virus that none of us who has not had direct contact with an ebola patient has gotten. our coverage starts with samantha bee where it all started in dallas, texas. [ cheering and applause ] i got to ask you, currently there's no active ebola cases, how did dallas finally get on top of things? >> well, jon, dallas officials tried every texas solution they could think of. they shot at ebola.

they gave it the death penalty. they prayed for the virus. in a way that the virus found patronizing, felt bad. all they needed to do was just get their [bleep] together. >> jon: right now as far as you've heard dallas is okay. >> well, relatively okay. because, well, there's no more ebola dallas is still a wasteland of big hair and stupid belt buckles, am i right? >> of course right now new york city is dealing with its first case for more we're going out to aasif mandvi in new york. in new york -- what's the story, aasif? >> the story, jon? jon: that's right. >> the story is when i said i'd stay here in new york ebola was

in texas. [ applause ] but now that everyone but me is in texas, ebola is in new york! >> jon: so you are saying -- what i'm saying is (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) -- >> jon: always good to have him back. we also wanted to check in on austin's own ebola preparation, jessica will exams is at the capitol city at the ip february husband disease facility. at least -- i think you're there. >> that's where i am. but like every other place in austin the infectious disease ward is also an espresso bar. >> jon: jessica, based on your -- [ cheering and applause ] i know you've been doing a lot

of boots on the ground reporting could ebola strode austin. >> from dallas, oh, yeah, jon. austin going to pick up something after dallas. no, jon, no. austin sets the trends, dallas finds out about them five years later. [ cheering and applause ] >> jon: there's no way ebola makes it? >> doesn't need to. austin already brewing its own locally stored, organic, cage free -- >> jon: what's that? what's wrong? >> what do you think wrong i got the ebola. >> jon: are you sure? >> what else could it be? ever since i got to austin i've had nash a, fever, sweating, profusely, intestines feel like the inside volcano.

>> jon: calm down, jordan. retrace your steps. since you got to austin where have you been? >> right before the show was eating brisket at a food truck. before that had this amazing pulled pork also from a truck. this morning was breaks ribs from the trunk. and last night at the airport when i stepped off the plane they adorned me with this barbecue lai. >> jon: jordan, i think i know what is wrong. i don't think you have ebola i think you have the meat sweats. or maybe -- >> maybe i'm not eating enough meat. >> jon: no, jordan, don't do that. >> what are you doing? jon: you're in a quarantine zone. what are you doing? >> selling barbecue. >> i can smell those little

bastards all the way. >> jon: you're in dallas. how did you get there from -- no! all right. jordan, jessica, samantha, we'll be right back. be right back. warm up to winter with a white chocolate delight

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did a nice job handling your ebola. got your hospital care together eventually. now that ebola is in new york city we can let the big dogs show you how we handle an african blood virus. >> the ebola case is more than -- >> ebola in the big apple. >> ebola in new york city tonight could it also be in new jersey. >> it arrived via a doctor. was the doctor contagious when he went bowling. >> who knows whether i used the bathrooms. >> came down with 10 fever. >> this disease is fierce. did his actions put the public at risk? >> see, calm, cool and catch that doctor and kill him! >> all right, i guess in new york lost our heads for a second. >> jon: a doctor who6 treat eba cases got himself ebola and [bleep] his way through the "sex

and the city" tour in manhattan with 103 degree fever. >> we were told yesterday that it was 10 it was actually 100.3. >> jon: didn't anyone treating him double check it and see? that he had a fever of 100.3? because from the looks of it this man is -- all right. so maybe -- nice to have an older audience. all right. so maybe this doctor gallivanted around the city, how much gallivanting could one guy with ebola do in just a day or two? >> tuesday spencer felt sluggish. the next day feeling well enough for a three mile jog stopping at

blue bottle coffee on the high line and the meatball shop in greenwich village. then taking the subway from manhattan to brooklyn. visiting a bowling alley called the gutter. >> jon: why is ebola's guy's life so much more interesting. jogging, meatballs, bowling. that's not a patient history that's a profile. if you got a fever for love. who knows how many innocent new yorkers this man infected in that, albeit, awesome day. >> if you -- weren't going to get ebola. [ laughter ] >> jon: i think i need to call my doctor. [ applause ]

>> jon: that joke intimated that i [bleep] the ebola doctor. all right. maybe the disease less dangerous and devastating that the media has led us to believe i'm sure the local authorities are taking a mesh usualed approach. >> governors now mandating a 21 day quarantine for travelers in to the u.s. considered high risk. female health care worker returning from africa who took care of ebola patients was placed on legal quarantine. >> governor chris crist tee said that he is ill. >> first of all i don't think he's a doctor. and secondly he's never laid eyes on me. and thirdly, i have been asymptomatic. >> she has time to reflect she'll understand. >> jon: why does christie has to be a dick about everything. he can't just -- all right, you did the quarantine, he can't

just quarantine he has to be like you're a doctor without borders, not any more, get in the [bleep] room. you self sacrificing angel of mercy pc [bleep] i got your altruism right here. this woman put her life on the line to help dying patients. i at least hope every effort is being used to make her comfortable. >> says he plans to file a federal lawsuit if she's not released soon. we're told its unheated, with no shower and only a box for a toilet. >> jon: i got to say, no heat, no shower and a [bleep] box. most new yorkers would be like, what's the square footage? what's the rent? [ applause ] i'll take it.

all right. so maybe the quarantine is a bit of an over reaction. or as our freedom personal liberty-lovin' congress calls it, government underreach. >> we need to look at travel bans. >> something like a forward operating base have people report 21 days before they're to leave the country. >> they wait for people no close than six feet. >> doctor, you can get ebola sitting next to someone upon a bus if they in fact throw up on you, can't you? [ applause ] >> doctor, let me ask you this, what if you are yawning, guy runs up throws his ebola diarrhea right in your mouth. >> jon: ebola in the mouth, boom. what are you going to do then? >> all right. i stand corrected. i guess quarantine and travel bans are the best way to fight the disease. >> the idea of a blanket

quarantine for people who come back could possibly have a negative consequence of essentially disincentivising people to go there. the best way to protect americans is stop the epidemic in africa we need those health care workers to do that. >> jon: shut up, science. what is wrong with us? we were the home of the free. or does the song go, or the land of the free? unless you have a fever? in which case we prefer you get the [bleep] out of here. here's how truly pathetic we are. here is how calmly they're

reporting on ebola on the ghana broadcasting, two small countries over from ebola land. >> found on isolated cases of ebola as part of the disease. >> jon: of course that lady common informational she's in ghana. ebola would have to go all the way through the ivory coast to get to her. she doesn't need to panic. you know what, perhaps ebola is teaching us an ironic yet relevant lesson. ♪ submitting for your approval. a nation with an outbreak. [ laughter ] i don't have time for the real

virus outbreak. is here. [ laughter ] i miss you so much. i miss you so much. we'll be right back.

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[ cheering and applause ] >> jon: tonight, texas state senator and democratic

gubernatorial candidate for texas, please welcome to the program, state senator wendy davis. [ cheering and applause ] how are you? there we go. thank you for joining us. >> thank you. jon: would you prefer to stand i know you like to stand. >> i'm fine. jon: how long was your rose toe prominence on a national level with fill buster, 13 hours? >> just under 13 hours. jon: 13 hours against some legislation going on in the texas. >> that's right. and i was texas senate.

it passed unfortunately in a special session. it resulted in exactly what we feared, almost all of the women's health centers that provided that constitutionally protected medical care closed. >> jon: there's no way to gain that back? can austin do sort of a planned parenthood food truck thing for everybody? get a taco and a -- i don't know how they can do it. they can do something. >> unfortunately the supreme court stepped in, they halted some of those closures we have had some reopen and we'll continue to fight the fight. >> jon: the supreme court does a lot around here. you know, the voter i.d. law that was -- they passed voter i.d. law, federal courts i found found itunes constitutional, the supreme court said, yeah, their so used to it now. and they did not put a stay it's estimated that i think 650,000

to 700,000 texans were disenfranchised. >> that's correct. my opponent, who is the attorney general, is defending -- [ audience reacts ] >> jon: they're thought booing their saying abood. >> he is defending what is of course intended to suppress that. and district court after hearing a full trial on this issue found that it was the modern day version of a poll tax, which it is. because so many people don't have the underlying documentation to be able to get that photo i.d. and be able to vote. >> jon: something -- college i.d. is not okay but a gun permit is. >> welcome to texas. jon: it surprised me you're having a tough campaign. you guys are down a little bit. in the rest of the state, so you say that here and in austin and

everybodyless, boo, in the rest of the state they go, yeah. for voter i.d. how conservative a place is texas and what is the demographic? we've heard a lot about it's flippin' blue but it looks like it ain't even flippin' like a cool azure it's not even -- what's going on? >> it really on its way. what we have suffered from here for quite awhile is two decades of republican led redistrict can that have created very purely drawn republican districts and few very truly drawn democratic ones. so all of the conversation and elections take place during primaries. it was one of the reasons i was so committed to this race. making sure that we were going to force in to a general election a real conversation about the things that really matter to people and invite texans to decide whether this republican-led legislature truly is reflective of the things that they care about like making sure that their schools are funded

after they -- >> jon: what do they do -- five and half billion. i was shocked when they said they were trying to cut 5.5 billion from education in texas i had no idea you spent anywhere near that. [laughter] stick around for a little bit? we're going to throw a little bit more. getting to be afraid, which is probably won't be the title of my -- [ laughter ] state senator wendy davis.

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>> in order for a new yorker to contract this disease from somebody out on the street or in a public place, that infected person would literally have to vomit or have diarrhea so close to you that you touch it and put it in to your own mouth. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by captioned by media access group at w ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪